Scribbles

To have all, so much in a restricted time.
More than his fill, more than you and I ever will.
When I saw him I wished him hours, minutes and life.
Jealous yes. Envious yes. Unhappy yes, yes, yes.

I wore him like my favourite coat on a cold day.
He was there only needed when wind and rains came.
It is raining heavily and I now stand here bare.
I wish he was here now to wrap around me.

I need to speak more through the voice of a wise man.
To see in the day with eyes closed, his rare gift.
I finally understand what makes him a brother to me.
Although I never forgot, I just couldn’t see.

I loved him more than life itself.
I miss him more than time will heal.
I will carry him within me until I cease.
Only then understanding complete peace.

My brother is in me now and I live his life.
Words unspoken can now be shared.
I can feel his pain and hold him again,
He makes me more that I could ever be.

I wish peace for our parents in their final years.
They loved Dean and miss their special son,
Full of sweetness and love.
Now we are companions in their troubled times,
Watching helpless as their burdens bring them down.

I am sorry, not for loving but for not spending time,
Being with you when you wished,
On leaving that last kiss.